Our self-confidence and self-esteem is related to a self-image memory group. Think about that for a moment a memory group related to self-image- everything that is related to YOU.
Throughout your life everything that has happened to you, everything that you have experienced, said, thought, heard, done, the good, the bad, all these experiences are recorded in the unconscious mind.
The way we see ourselves, the way we interact with others, how others influence us and our perception of our environment all comes from our programming whether we have had a negative experience or whether it was a learnt behaviour.
Our behaviours and emotions are driven by knowledge, beliefs, values and attitudes stored in the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is an automatic program run only to react that is designed to protect you. Everything that comes through your senses, everything that you see, hear, feel, etc. creates a tiny movie that is recording everything around you and stored in the unconscious mind.
These tiny movies are stored in related memory groups which hold encoding related to different things, like self-image, relationships, what trees are, what a cat is – it just stores information about “stuff.” It is a recording system and all memories are stored in the same way.
When something happens in consciousness (NOW) that is related to the encoding in a memory group the unconscious mind automatically brings up the thought- feeling- reaction that is associated with that memory into consciousness. That then triggers behaviour which has helped in the past and the thoughts and feelings that are imbedded in that memory are then creating a new memory and stored in the same way.
In other words, our minds are just reacting to behaviour that would have worked once for us in the past and made us feel safe or happy. The mind then thinks it is a really good idea to keep producing that behaviour in situations it feels fits the scene.
I find that a large number of clients with high stress levels who simply lack direction in life have two parts to their self-image.
These self-image groups start forming in the first 5-7 years when our minds have no ability to analyse or question the information being absorbed from our environments. We are sponges absorbing information, everything we record is recorded as fact. Your awareness of your emotions becomes particularly important. Negative experiences take on a vast level of significance. We take on the learning from the people and circumstances around us in these first 5-7 years.
People have been known to value material things as being better than the next person and the way this is portrayed we tend to process this input builds a well-established negative self-image. High levels of anxiety can develop in these first years but do not present themselves till later in life.
What happens from then on, is when something happens in consciousness, what happens in now, that is related to the similarity in memory, what happens is you have one part comes up saying you can’t do it, your useless, so don’t even try and at the same time you get another part coming up say you can, you’re ok, you have done it before and this creates two different beliefs and it can even feel like there is two of you in there. The rest of the mind interprets this as serious confusion and produces physical changes, pouring adrenalin into the system which can then cause the nervous system to breakdown, chemical imbalances to happen and mood swings of depression can happen causing a cycle of negative thinking about self and the cycle begins.
Biochemistry can also be altered and changed if we allow our nutritional diet to slip modern diets are also full of sugar and gluten that changes the bacteria in the gut influencing our immune system and the way we absorb nutrients in our foods, stripping vitamin B and other nutrients which we need for energy and in producing vital hormones and neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters are the chemical equivalent of a thought, If our thought patterns are not functioning properly neither is our nervous system.
These two parts can come up in a number of day to day tasks. Times where we want to achieve something or we have a goal and something is holding us back from achieving this. Times when we are unsure if we should proceed with something these are all inner conflicts and are all related to memory groups.
If we look after our bodies and make changes to our lifestyle we can get back on track. For the emotional memory aspects Hypnotherapy can work with the unconscious mind to make these changes.
Hypnotherapy, Neuro-Com and NLP are all really great ways to communicate with these groups of memories. Reprogram them to respond in a different way to create new positive memories with new behaviours, Learn quicker, study harder and help you towards your goals.
There are many techniques that can be used to build self-image and confidence.
If your younger-self went through some trauma or felt unloved early on in life, Inner child therapy can be a great way to reconnect to that part of you that didn’t feel love. Spend some time with your younger self- Play on the playground, eat ice-cream, build sand castles, paint pictures- do the things that your inner child loves to do.
Parts therapy is used to reconnect the learning’s from the unconscious mind and to integrate new learning’s.
NLP and timeline therapy can create new links to positive memory
Hypnosis and suggestion therapy can be used build confidence.
What you can do to help change your self-image
Use gratitude- start a journal- writing down all the things about your life that you are grateful for and will start to focus on the things that bring you joy, lifting your spirits.
Edification- building up the people around you, compliments, helping others, anything that allows others to feel good for being in your presents and want to be with you.
Mirror work- look deep into your eyes, notice the positive aspects about yourself inside and out and start to love who you are, when you walk past a window and you see your reflection- say hello beautiful, smile and laugh it may seem weird and funny at first but soon it will become natural to love who you are.
Affirmations- imagine what it would be like to have the confidence and self-esteem. What are the things that your confident self says? Repeat these and visualise yourself doing that.- You will find on my resent posts how to build personalised affirmations
Doing the things that make you happy